Download and print these Family Bingo cards and use them as a family activity. The cards focus on four areas of social emotional learning: self-awareness, responsible decision-making, social skills and self-regulation. How many of these challenges can your family complete?
Social-emotional skills are essential for success in school, work, and life. Social-emotional skills can improve your child’s ability to regulate emotions and thoughts, form healthy relationships, and make responsible decisions. These skills can strengthen mental health1 and help your child ask for help when they need it. You can teach your children social emotional skills by modeling them, or practicing them yourself, which is also a way of teaching your child about your family’s culture, values, and belief systems.
Responsible Decision-Making
Responsible decision-making has to do with making choices that fit your values, including values related to health and well-being. To model this:
Share your thought process: “Before we decide which one to pick, let’s learn a little more about each of them.”
Name how your values influence your choices: “It’s important to me that you get a chance to try different foods. That’s why that food is part of our dinner today.”
Relationship Skills
Relationship skills have to do with starting and maintaining healthy connections with lots of different kinds of people, which can strengthen mental health and well-being. To model this:
Practice active listening: “You’re frustrated because you feel like I haven’t been paying attention to you. Do I have that right? What do you think could help?”
Close the loop and come back after conflict: “This morning’s argument was rough. I’m sorry it happened like that. Can we talk?”
Self-Management
Self-management has to do with your response to your emotions, thoughts, and the world around you. To model this:
Take deep breaths when you’re feeling strong feelings: “I’m feeling really frustrated right now, so I’m going to step in the hallway and take some deep breaths before we figure this out.”
Talk about how you’re approaching challenges: “There is a lot to do before we leave for school. I’m going to make a quick list to keep us organized.”
Reflect on how you’re dealing with things you can’t control: “I wanted to go to the park today too, but it’s raining. Let’s think about other ways we can play and get out our energy.”
Self-Awareness
Self-awareness has to do with understanding your own emotions, thoughts, and values so you are better able to take care of your mental health and wellness. To model this:
Notice and name your feelings: “Ugh! This traffic is making me feel so frustrated.”
Admit when you make a mistake: “I was feeling rushed, and didn’t listen to your idea. Can we try again?”
Notice the connection between your feelings and your actions: “I’m noticing that I’m a little quieter than usual. I’m feeling nervous about something coming up tomorrow at work.
Social Awareness
Social awareness has to do with understanding others’ perspectives, which can strength relationships and mental health and well-being. To model this:
Show respectful curiosity about other people: “Our cashier seemed angry. I wonder what was going on for him today.”
Show gratitude: “Let’s stop by Lu’s house really quick – I want to thank them for watching the cat the other day.”
Notice others’ strengths: “Wow! I’ve never seen anyone dance like that. She looked so strong.”
Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose to what’s happening in the moment. Many people use it as a form of meditation, but everyone can practice incorporating mindfulness into daily routines and activities.
Practicing mindfulness involves intentionally focusing on just one thing at a time. It can be normal – especially at the beginning of your mindfulness practice – for your thoughts to wander to your To Do list, conversations you’re planning to have, or even an evaluation of how your mindfulness practice is going. Noticing these things, not assigning judgement to them, and letting them go is part of the practice of mindfulness. Sometimes practicing mindfulness (especially at the beginning) can feel uncomfortable because of the feelings that come up. That’s OK! Part of the practice is to acknowledge the less comfortable feelings and thoughts too.
Mindfulness is an important part of taking care of your mental health. It can help put space between your feelings and actions, which is helpful because strong feelings can often scramble good decision-making. You can incorporate mindful activities at home as a way of practicing mindfulness as a family.
Mindful Meals
Mindfulness involves paying attention to what’s happening in the moment, and mealtime or snack time is a great way to practice this with your children.
How to do it:
Find the right time. Practice a mindful meal when you can take your time eating and you can be together without phones or other screens. The food doesn’t need to be fancy or elaborate. If your child enjoys trying new foods, it might be fun to practice with a new food. If not, using a fan favorite is a great plan.
Name it. Let your children know when you’re going to practice mindfulness. If your child enjoys games or competition, frame it as a challenge!
Explore the mind-body connection. Food and nutrition are important to mental health because our body and minds are connected. How and what we eat can change how we feel. Think with your child about how their bodies feel before, during, and after eating mindfully.
Use all 5 senses: Talk about what you both notice using your 5 senses.
Sight: What do you notice about this food? How does the color or texture make you feel about trying it?
Smell: What do you notice? Does this smell remind you of anything?
Touch: What do you notice about the temperature of the food? What do you notice about the texture? Is it chewy, crunchy, scratchy, or smooth?
Sound: What kind of sounds come from our chewing of this food? Is there a crunch or snap or slurp when we eat it?
Taste: What do you notice right away? Is the food sweet, salty, sour, bitter, savory, or a combination? Does the taste change as you chew?
Creating a Family Self-Care Plan
Self-care is an important part of maintaining mental health because it involves giving yourself the time and space to nourish your mind, body, and heart with activities that make you feel connected to yourself and your loved ones. Making a family self-care plan is a great way to model for your children that self-care is important while nurturing your connection with one another.
Your family self-care plan will include activities that you can do as a family to strengthen your connections, reflect on challenges and celebrations, and have fun together!
How to do it:
Get everyone together. Make time for everyone in your family to get together to talk about their plan. This might be on a walk, at a meal, or at another time when everyone can be present and not on their phones. Everyone’s ideas are important here!
Think about the WHEN. When will you use these activities? Some families might decide to do 1 or 2 activities on a set day every week or once a month. Others may choose to use it when they notice they’ve been too busy to spend quality time together. Figure out what works for your family.
Think about the WHY. Why is spending time together important to your family? How do you want to feel after doing your self-care activities?
Think about the WHAT. What do you want to do together as a family to connect? You’ll be more likely to stick to a plan that is realistic, in line with what your family already enjoys, and simple. You can consider activities that balance the mind, body, and heart:
Nurturing the mind: This might include activities like learning something new together or playing a challenging game together.
Nurturing the heart: This might include activities and conversations that give everyone a chance to express their thoughts and feelings. Consider having a daily family check-in conversation or making a Mind Jar.
Nurturing the body: Physical activities are a great way to connect, destress, and have fun. This might include taking a walk together or trying a new sport. Spending time outdoors is great for mental and physical health.
Write it down, and keep it where you can see it! This will keep your family accountable to the plan you’ve made, and will also remind you of all the ways you can take care of one another.
Calm Corner
Everyone needs to learn how to self-regulate, or calm themselves down when they’re feeling strong feelings. A Calm Corner is a designated space for your child to practice different self-regulation strategies, or coping skills.
How to make it:
Space it out: Calm Corners don’t need to be elaborate – consider a small space in your home that is typically quiet and free from screens. This could be a comfy chair in the living room, or some floor space in a closet or bedroom that’s big enough to sit. Older children will likely want more privacy, so consider a space that allows for that.
Make it comfy and calm: To make the space inviting but not overwhelming, keep it simple, and involve your child in planning it. The space should be special, and not just another place for your child to play or keep toys. You might consider adding things like:
A favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or pillow
Books and coloring or journaling materials
Fidgets or quiet toys, like our Mind Jar, Squeeze Stress ball, Rubix cube, or fidget spinner
Teach your child to use it:
Using a Calm Corner is different than a timeout, because it shouldn’t be used as punishment, but rather as a way of encouraging your child to take space to calm down and practice their self-regulation skills.
Introduce it by starting to use it together with your child when they are upset: use the materials together, read a book, or snuggle. This can be especially helpful for children under age 5, who may not be able to consistently handle strong feelings alone.
After some practice together, suggest they use the space when they’re beginning to get upset. You can say something like, “It looks like you’re feeling pretty disappointed. Do you want to go to your Calm Corner to help yourself calm down?”
Help your child notice what they did to calm down by asking reflection questions once they are calm again like, “Does your body feel any different now that you had some time to snuggle with your bear?” or “I’m noticing that you’re not yelling anymore. What did you use in the Calm Corner to help yourself feel better?”
When they’re using it successfully, offer lots of encouragement! You can say things like, “I’m so proud of you for noticing that your body needed a break” or “You were so mad, and figured out a way of calming down so we could talk again. That was awesome!”
Consider making a Calm Corner for yourself too, so that your child learns that grownups notice and take care of their feelings, too.
Calming Tools
Mind Jar
In this craft, the jar represents our hearts or minds, and the glitter represents our thoughts and feelings. Shaking up the jar is like feeling a strong feeling: our thoughts and feelings can be swirling, confusing, and chaotic. When we set the mind jar down and let it rest, the glitter will slowly settle at the bottom and the water will become clear again. When we take time to be still, take deep breaths, and focus on watching the glitter fall, our bodies get a chance to settle and our hearts and minds can feel clear and calm again.
What you’ll need:
A clean plastic or glass jar or bottle with a tight fitting lid
Water
Washable white or clear liquid glue
Glitter, sequins, beads, or other small objects
Hot glue to seal the jar (optional)
How to make it:
Fill the jar about 1/3 full with glue. The more glue you add, the longer it will take for the glitter to settle.
Add glitter or other objects.
Top off the bottle with water.
Seal the jar.
Shake it up!
Keep the mind jars accessible for your child, and encourage them to shake it when you notice they are starting to feel a strong feeling. Help them reflect on how taking deep breaths changed their mood, thoughts, or feelings.
Squeeze Stress Ball
When we feel stress or strong feelings, our bodies often tense up and we may feel the need to move in some way, like by clenching our fists, hitting or throwing something, or pacing. Stress balls are one tool that children can use to direct this physical energy: rather than throwing something, for example, they can try squeezing a stress ball when they need movement.
What you’ll need:
An uninflated balloon (not a water balloon)
About 8 oz of a filler: table salt, dried lentils or beans, or uncooked rice
A funnel (optional, but helpful)
How to make it:
Stretch the opening of the balloon as wide as possible, or use the funnel.
Fill the balloon, leaving the neck clear of filling.
Tie the balloon.
Squeeze!
You may want to set some rules for using the stress ball, such as not throwing it at anyone or anything. Keep it accessible for your child to use when they need to squeeze out some extra energy.
Family game night is a great way to practice social skills in a supportive environment while having fun! Building strong family connections also boosts youth mental health.
How to use this resource
This resource breaks down important social skillslike conflict resolution, communication, and understanding others’ perspectives or points of view.
Building Communication Skills
Playing games helps improve communication. You and your child can practice while playing – work together, talk through moves, and use body language to guess your opponent’s next move. Conflicts during game play are perfect for practicing assertive communication: communication that is both clear and respectful.
Tips:
Model active listening: make eye contact, avoid interrupting, limit distractions, and ask questions.
Set guidelines on what positive communication looks like during games. Here are some ideas:
No name calling or insulting other players
Encourage each other during hard times with phrases like, “You got this!”
Celebrate success with phrases like, “Great work!” or “Smart move!”
Think about how everyone can provide helpful feedback to one another. Try the sandwich method, which starts with something they’re doing well, then a suggestion for what could be done differently, and then another positive comment.
Suggested Games:
Games best for practicing communication include:
Charades
20 Questions
Chain Link Story or Group Storytelling
Telephone
Building Empathy and Perspective Taking (seeing others’ point of view)
Empathy and understanding others’ feelings and viewpoints help us to put ourselves in the shoes of others. These are key to good social skills because they help you understand what the other person wants and needs. It can also help us be more aware of the impact of our own actions. Playing games together helps you see things from others’ perspectives and can make us better players.
Tips:
Let everyone share their ideas or what they think your team should do next.
In games that require strategy, pause to talk aloud and reflect. Ask questions like:
“What do you think is the problem?”
“How might the character be feeling about this problem?”
“Did anyone see this differently?”
“What do you think we should do next? What might happen if we do that?”
Suggested Games:
Games that help practice empathy and seeing others’ points of view include:
What Would You Do?
Role playing games
Narrative video games
Building Trust and Practicing Setting Boundaries
Trust and boundaries help us to feel safer and more comfortable sharing our feelings and can help stop conflicts from getting worse. Games are a great way to practice this. Learning to trust one another will lead to safer, more successful, more joyful play.
Tips:
Review and change the game rules together. Make sure everyone understands the rules.
Talk about – and agree to – fair play and good sportsmanship. Examples of good sportsmanship might include things like following all rules, encouraging other players, being humble after winning, and being a “good” loser by accepting the loss and congratulating the winner.
Ask your child about their boundaries on competitiveness, language, and behaviors while playing.
Set consequences for cheating, rule breaking, or showing poor sportsmanship. Hold each other to them! This could be a warning, skipping a turn, or no longer being able to play the game.
Suggested Games:
Games that build trust and help set boundaries are games such as:
Trust walk or trust fall
Two truths and a Lie
Blindfolded games: blindfolded maze walk, pin the tail on the donkey
Building Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is how a person responds to the world around them. Practicing self-regulation skills helps us handle strong feelings, like excitement or anxiety about a game or losing.
Tips:
Remind your child about good sportsmanship.
Offer support if someone gets frustrated.
Take breaks to ease tension and come back to the game when everyone is feeling ready.
Model positive self-talk such as “Whoops! Maybe I’ll have better luck next time.”
Take deep breaths together during setbacks or mistakes.
Suggested Games:
For games that build self-management skills, search for games that practice handling emotions and controlling impulses such as:
Freeze Dance
Musical Chairs
Simon Says
Jenga
Building Teamwork and Collaboration Skills
Playing games together helps practice compromise, negotiation, and creative thinking.
Tips:
Help your child to see other people’s perspectives during a conflict.
Model being a neutral mediator. You can do this by helping to summarize what each person has shared, identify common ground, and giving options for moving forward. You may also choose to call for a break if tensions are high.
Decide on roles for game play. This is also a great way to help your child identify their strengths!
Debrief after the game on what went well and what could be better next time.
Suggested Games:
Games that build teamwork skills will be those that need negotiation, critical thinking, and shared decision-making such as:
